Unfulfilled Expectations, at First...

     Sometimes you may find yourself in the midst of something that you didn’t expect or want. You enter into something while clinging to certain criteria and objectives. However, along the road, you discover that your goals have not been met, and all hope seems lost. You seem to think “well, that was a waste…” and you begin to move on, hoping to get it behind you as soon as possible. You think that there is no possibility of resurrecting the hope you joyfully began with. You say that it’s over, and that you just need to move on. But right when you think the end has arrived, God shows up and puts his plan into action. 

     It’s not something that you expected, or perhaps even wanted. You compare it to your goals, and it doesn’t seem to match up. So you simply disregard it as something unwanted. But this isn’t your plan, its God’s. No matter what you do, he’s going to get his way; it’s just the way life is. You twist and turn saying “No! This isn’t what I wanted, go back and start over. We both know that my idea was more reasonable and convenient. Either stop what you’re doing and give me what I want or leave me alone!” 

 

     Although he listens to your protests, God can hardly agree. As you continue to resist, you begin to see the outline of something much better. Something much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined when your journey began. You just start to realize that there is still something better up ahead, despite your earlier beliefs. You begin to see that, in fact, all along God had a plan to move you and those around you in a more incredible way than you had ever thought possible. 

     You continue to resist, insisting that you don’t want any part of it. Yet a new curiosity has crept in among the arrogance that has clouded your mind for so long. At that moment, your eyes are opened. The floodgates have burst, and all that you hoped for has been forgotten, replaced with a new, brighter knowledge of what is actually taking place all around you. You scream at the top of your lungs saying “What is wrong with me? Why didn’t I see this before?” Your heart breaks as you enter into a newfound awe and appreciation for what God had been doing. He had combined the doubt, the fatigue, the frustration, the stress, the worry, everything, and used it to enable you to peer into his plan for your life. His plan for you. 

     You realize that the same rules don’t apply as before, and you find yourself humbled and overwhelmed by your foolishness and stubborn attitude. God’s plan overshadows your broken dreams, and replaces them with his own. You bow your head in prayer. Apologizing for your insolence and for disregarding God, his power, and his sacrifice. You think that it’s over, and that your life will be forever changed. You view life in a new light, stating that you will never move back to your previous position. However, all along you are fully aware that you will fail. Not just once or twice, but for the remainder of your life on this world. You will continue to fall until the day that you are called up, made complete, and your sinful nature is forever destroyed, never to return. 

You remember the times in your past that you have walked away and forgotten God’s power. You are painfully reminded that, despite your strongest efforts, you will fail again. Sin has branded your mind, and holds a firm grasp on your very existence. Acknowledging this, your head drops and you stare at the ground, defeated. Losing all of the hope that you had just gained. You say “I’ll never fix it, I’ve been corrupted from birth, and I can never change.” 

      Defeated by your shame, you attempt to look up. But you have been overcome by self-pity and depression at the realization of your depravity. You attempt to move on, knowing full well that it’s all a lost cause. But as you stagger forward, a hauntingly familiar voice calls your name. You turn around; confused and afraid, believing this man will only further remind you of your failures. You look up; squinting as an indescribable and magnificent light radiates from the mysterious figure. At the will of the stranger, the blinding light retreats and you see him. Clear as day. Your savior. Standing there, holes in his hands and a scar on his side. You stand there in awe, not knowing whether to fall on your knees in reverence or look away ashamed. Then his eyes meet with yours and he whispers “You have been forgiven, come now and walk in my light.”